With conviction and with a rigorous sadness

“Before writing a work I walk around it several times accompanied by myself.”

- Erik Satie

I am listening to Satie. Early piano works. The Gymnopedies, regarded as an important precursor to modern ambient music and the Gnossiennes. Listening in my suit. A sunny Wednesday morning in Barcelona.

When Satie died in 1925 the people closest to him were shocked to discover that the composer had lived in a filthy, threadbare room, strewn with hoarded umbrellas, uncountable newspapers and two grand pianos placed on top of each other. In the top one he stored letters and parcels. He hadn’t admitted a single visitor there in 27 years.

They called him the “velvet gentleman”. He owned twelf identical grey suits he had bought in 1895 with part of a small inheritance, wearing one suit at a time until it worn out, only then putting on a new one. He wore them on his daily 10 km walk to his favorite cafés in Paris. When he died, there were 6 new suits left in his room.

The compositions are considered dances. The Gymnopedies all “Lent Et Douloureux”, slow and painful. The Gnossiennes mostly “slow”, but the second one “Avec Étoile”, with astonishment and the sixth one “Avec Conviction Et Avec Une Tristesse Rigoureuse”, with conviction and with a rigorous sadness. My favorite dance.